


Save a Bastard, Wear a Dress

by letsgooutintherain



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Ed in a Dress, First Kiss, M/M, Undercover in a Dress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsgooutintherain/pseuds/letsgooutintherain
Summary: With Hawkeye injured it fell to Ed to sneak into the midsummer dance to save Mustang's ass. He would have felt more confident about it if the invitation hadn't been for a woman. Undercover in a dress was not the way Ed had imagined his evening going. It also didn't help that once found Mustang just wouldn't stop flirting.





	1. The Emergency

"Oh, thank god, Ed, we need you at Vaught Manor! They are waiting for you by the last turn," Fuery greeted him the second he entered the office. 

"What?" Ed said perplexed. He was tired and sore from the train ride and the mission he had just completed. He wanted food, a shower and a bed. In that order. He shouldn't even be here yet. It was sheer luck that he had reached the evening train in time. 

"Now, Ed!" Fuery nearly shouted and the unexpected outburst was all Ed needed. Cursing he threw his report on the nearest surface and stormed out. 

As far as he knew the manor was ten minutes by car from here if he drove fast. He sprinted down the hallways of headquarter and down into the garage and flashed his pocket watch at the man behind the desk. 

"A car. Now!"

"How old are you?" the soldier replied.

"Nineteen. Now give me a fucking key. It's an emergency!" Hastily he started to search his pockets for his driving license. Where the hell was it? There! He smashed it on the table and the soldier took an eternity to look it over before nodding.

"Excuse me, but state alchemist or not, I can't give you a car if you can't drive. Orders are orders." He produced a key and pointed to the second of three cars standing in the first row, "Take that one. I need you to sign here and if you need it for more than a day, I need a proper..."

"Yeah, I get it," Ed interrupted, signed and snatched the key away before the man could say anything else. Damn. He had lost enough time already. 

Contrary to the believe of the team, Ed was a good driver. At least if he concentrated on the street and not the latest array he was working on. 

Now Ed's mind circled possibilities. What the hell was going on? Vaught was one of Mustang's opponents as far as Ed knew, his name had come up a few times before Ed's mission had started, but he hadn't paid attention. That was two weeks ago. So what had happened?

Loud honking drew Ed's focus back to the road and he cursed as he frantically pulled back on his side of the street. 

For the rest if the ride Ed forced his mind to stay on the traffic. 

Nine minutes later Ed left the city and drove on a small road that led up to an illuminated manor filled with arcs, alcoves and ornaments.

The road turned and Ed slowed down, before carefully driving the car between two trees and into the woods, where it wouldn't be in the way and mostly out of sight.

Now he only had to find the team. Ed opened the door and stepped out. Without the lights from the car the trees were hard to make out and the leaves swallowed the light from the stars over his head.

"Over here!" Havoc called.

Ed looked around till he had spotted him and jogged over. The rest of the team had gathered there in a more or less battered condition. A bunch of guards were tied and gagged on the ground. 

"What's going on?" Ed asked, trying to understand what he was seeing. Havoc had a gash over his brow, Breda sat on the ground a bandage around his leg and Hawkeye held her arm in a way that suggested it was broken. And Mustang... Ed looked around for their leader. 

"Where is Mustang?"

"In there," Hawkeye replied with a grimace and nodded up to the mansion before turning to Breda, "Fill him in."

Ed looked to Breda.

"Well, let's see: Brigadier General Vaught is one of our opponents. In the last three weeks we caught wind of him planning something big against us, but we couldn't get any more information excerpt that it was going to happen tonight.

"Up there Vaught is hosting the annual military midsummer dance. The Fuhrer is there, along with nearly every other high ranking officer in the vicinity of central. Not coming wasn't an option so we took some precautions.

"Unfortunately Vaught forbade any weapons and insisted on taking Mustang's gloves and the emergency lighter. We four were meant as his backup, but someone didn't want us close and we walked straight into a trap.

"We don't even know how Vaught knew we would be here. It's not as if we could come inside. We were only meant to ensure Mustang's safety the second he leaves the building."

That explained the unconscious guards, but not exactly what was going on. Whatever it was, Ed felt his insides clench uncomfortably. Mustang was supposed to be safe behind his desk, not out there fighting like the rest of them. Dangerous missions were Ed's job.

"What is going to happen? Will they kill him, or frame him for something?" Ed asked. 

"We don't know," Hawkeye replied, "But we need to get in there and stop it. Mustang and his date were meant to appear at the left window every thirty minutes. They missed the last time."

"What do you need me for?" Ed asked.

"We need another way in there without being seen. Since we are all injured, we can't risk another fight," Hawkeye replied.

"There comes another one," Havoc interrupted from his post by the street. 

Everyone went silent for a few seconds, till the car pulled up beside them and Falman stepped out. He looked bruised up, but at least didn't seem to be in pain. 

A woman climbed out of the other side of the car. She had dark hair, a rough face and a bigger stature than society considered normal. On top of it she had the same no nonsense gaze teacher used. The woman went around the car and opened the trunk.

"Here it is," she said. 

"Here is what?" Ed asked.

"The dress," Hawkeye said, "Having backup in the building is important, but we need someone in the middle of the party."

"You are injured!" Ed replied, "The last thing we need is to start a rescue mission for you as well!"

Hawkeye ignored him in favor of the dress. It was long, falling down to her feet and golden, softly reflecting what little light the moon provided.

"Thank you, Madame Christmas. We'll get them out," she said and then let a silent curse slip as she tried to lift her arm enough to get out of her uniform jacket. 

"The boy's right," Madame Christmas said. Ed bristled. He wasn't a boy, damn it. And anyway, who the hell was that woman? And how did she know Mustang?

Hawkeye tried again to tug at her sleeve and Ed winced in sympathy. Madame Christmas positioned herself between Hawkeye and the dress. "You are in no condition to go in there Riza. We'll send someone else."

"And how are we supposed to get someone else? He needs us now!" Hawkeye sounded calm, but her frantic try to dress up told a different story. She cursed again.

"Hawkeye, stop it!" Ed interrupted. There had to be another way. He understood why they didn't have time to get another girl, but having someone in the middle of the party couldn't be that important!

"So what do you propose?" Hawkeye asked. 

"We take him," Madame Christmas said calmly, before turning her full attention on Ed. "Roy-boy says you are a good alchemist. Tell me, can you transmute the dress?"

Roy-boy?! Ed's eyebrows traveled to his hairline. And Mustang thought he was a good alchemist. That was blackmail material for years, and the woman had only said one sentence!

"Of course I can transmute the dress, but what do you want me to do with it? And what do you mean you take me?"

Hawkeye looked sceptic. Madame Christmas calm and Havoc and Breda looked as if they were trying very hard not to grin. It was the latter that finally clued Ed in.

"You want me to wear a dress?" he asked, just to make sure they hadn't lost their mind. Or maybe he had. 

"You have the hair to do it," Madame Christmas said. "And the dress will mostly hide the way you walk. All the gold will keep their attention on you, but in a way that they will not see anything beyond it."

Ed gulped, a dismissal already on his tongue, but the rational part of his mind told him it was not completely impossible. The other part rebelled at the very thought. He wasn't a girl! But apparently the only one with long hair and two working arms. Well at least technically. 

And if it would safe Mustang, could he really say no? Damn his crush on the man, this would be so much easier if his judgement was free of emotions. Ed glared at them all. 

"A word about this to anyone and I'm going to fucking kill you."

Havoc's mouth dropped. 

"Seriously?" Breda asked.

He looked at Hawkeye for confirmation. She nodded once and gave up on undressing. 

"I hope you know what you are doing," Ed said.

"Of course I do," Madame Christmas replied and gave Ed the dress. He snatched it from her hands, before vanishing behind a bush to get changed.

It wasn't as easy as it looked. The dress was much too long and slim and left his arms bare, something that simply wouldn't do. A clap and it was wider but shorter and he managed to get in it somehow, only to realize that it was meant for someone with smaller shoulders. Damn it. 

Without thinking twice he clapped again and rearranged what fabric he could still spare from the seam up to the shoulders. It was even enough to allow him to cover a little of his upper arms. Not enough, but still, better than nothing. While he was at it he clapped and closed the zipper. 

"Are you okay over there?" Hawkeye asked. 

"Tell me you have gloves for this," Ed said and came out again. Havoc tried very hard not to grin, Breda didn't even try and snickered gleefully from where he sat on the floor. Ed glared in their direction before turning to Hawkeye.

"I don't," she replied, "Can't you make some with alchemy?"

Ed didn't mention that he hated alchemising clothes because all the different strands gave him a headache, he just clapped and transformed his shirt into two arm long black gloves. Like this nobody would see his automail. What now? Oh yes. He opened his braid and shook out his hair, so it fell in waves down over his back. Then he clapped again and made the rest of his shirt into balls of fabric that would roughly resemble breasts. 

"Come here," Madame Christmas said. Ed did without question and watched as she got something that looked like makeup. 

"Come on, don't be shy. I'm going to make a lady out of you," Madame Christmas said grinning and then promptly rearranged his breasts. Ed held his tongue, trying to ignore that Havoc and Breda had now started whispering. Instead he looked straight ahead as Madame Christmas, finally content with his breasts, went for the makeup. 

It seemed to take an eternity and Ed's rational part didn't envy Madame Christmas right now, trying to make him look like a girl with their limited light and the short time they had. The not so rational part railed against the idea to go in there and let anyone see him like this.

He was golden nearly from head to toe and someone might draw the right conclusion of golden eyes and the Elric brothers. This was all Mustang's fault.

The thought of meeting Mustang like this made it even worse. At least he wouldn't have to wear the high heels. The long dress covered his feet. 

"Here you go," Madame Christmas finally said. 

Ed blinked a few times and wished for a mirror. He would feel much better if he knew how convincing he looked. 

When he turned around Havoc's jaw dropped. 

"What?" Ed asked irritable. 

"You look kinda hot, boss," Breda said, when Havoc failed to answer.

Ed frowned. He wasn't sure if he should take it as a compliment or not. 

"I will drive him up there," Falman said, face straight as ever. 

"Here." Hawkeye pressed a purse into his hands, "The invitation is in there."

Ed looked at it, then at Hawkeye again.

"You know that this whole thing goes to hell the second I have to talk to anyone, right?" he said. 

"You won't have to," Madame Christmas said, "Give yourself untouchable, smile at them but never stop walking."

"No sane person does something like that," Ed replied. At least no girl he'd ever met. 

"No, but this is the high society we are talking about, you would be surprised what is considered normal there," Madame Christmas said.

Ed nodded. She was the expert and since Hawkeye seemed to trust her, he would too.

"Okay, what am I supposed to do once I'm in there?" he asked. 

"Get in contact with the chief," Breda said, "From that point on it's his call."

"And what are you going to do?"

"We regroup. Find another vantage point in case they send some more people after us. Roy knows the signs to let us know what to do. And if things start to go violent we'll come and get you even without signs."

Ed nodded and tried to walk like a woman over to the car. He felt ridicules.


	2. Going Undercover

Slowly Ed entered the dance floor. He knew there were gazes on him and he braced himself for someone, anyone, recognizing the Fullmetal Alchemist. People whispered, but nobody spoke up. Ed forced himself to relax and smile. 

He let his own gaze wander around the room. The blue of the dress uniforms dominated the picture and dotted in between he could see dresses of every colour worn by the dates of the evening. But where was Mustang? Held prisoner somewhere or still here, trying to call for backup by not making the rendezvous?

"My lady, would you give me the honor of a dance?" Ed turned to the voice, reminding himself not to scowl. General Hakuro smiled down at him, hand outstretched. The hell he would, but he couldn't refuse either without slipping up. Fuck.

Instead of answering Ed just turned and stalked away in the other direction, head held high. He couldn't do that too often, it would draw attention and that was the last thing he needed. 

"Good choice." Mustang was next to him out of the blue, familiar smirk in place, "May I ask what made you turn down one of the most decorated generals?"

Ed turned fully to him and stopped when he caught the way Mustang looked at him. Was he joking or had Mustang really not recognized him? Ed felt a grin pull at his lips as Mustang stopped too and looked at him with a questioning gaze, but clearly with his mind somewhere else. Idiot.

This was starting to get funny though. Ed stepped closer and right into his personal space, before rising to his tiptoes to get closer to his ear. This close Mustang smelled of something like cinnamon and smoke.

"I thought I had a date with you, Bastard." Ed suppressed a grin as Mustang tensed, before stepping back. Now he had his full attention.

"Fullmetal," it was more a hiss than a calm whisper, but somehow his face never lost the flirty smile.

Ed forced his face to do a polite smile thing too, even if part of him still wanted to grin. No one here grinned. It was the military and the upper class at that. Of course everyone had a stick up their ass.

And even talking to Mustang made him suspicious, which meant people were looking. Looking meant another chance to figure out that he was hiding in plain sight. 

Ed held out his hand for Mustang, hoping against hope that his cheeks weren't flushing. Dancing was a good cover. 

Before his cheeks could heat up even more, Mustang took his hand and led him into the dance. Suddenly Ed was very glad he had to concentrate on doing the steps mirrored to the way he was used to, because Mustang danced brilliantly.

"Left window and update," Mustang muttered, leaning in closer, probably so no one else would hear his voice. That didn't change the fact that it made Ed's heart beat faster.

"The team was attacked," Ed replied, following Mustang's lead as he guided them to the other end of the dance floor until they passed the window. He couldn't draw his eyes away from Mustang's and despite the situation the flirty smile did something to his insides Ed didn't want to think too closely about. "They are all injured to some degree, but nothing life threatening. They will regroup, wait for your sign or come in guns blazing if this escalates to obvious violence."

Mustang's answer was another smile and a wink and he kept looking right into Ed's eyes. Ed felt his cheeks burning. The following words were like a bucket of ice though. "They have Janine." Mustang's smile never wavered, "They want me to take out one of the generals close to Grumman and make it look like a coup d'etat. They even gave back my lighter for that."

That would leave both Mustang's and that general's position open to be filled with Vaught's people.

"When?" he asked. 

"During the speech. So in about ten minutes."

Ed fought to keep his face relaxed, but it was hard. His strength wasn't masks and mirrors. "Do you have assurance that your girl is still alive?"

"They'll bring her out during the speech. Extra incentive so to speak."

"You want me to find and save her?" Ed asked.

Mustang hesitated, but Ed caught the familiar flicker in his eyes that meant he was plotting. Then he shook his head. "Too little time. Wait for them to bring her out, then make sure she is safe. If you can expose him without exposing yourself, do that, if you can't, do it without drawing attention."

Ed wanted to nod, but forced himself not to. He couldn't stay with Mustang until then. He needed to be able to move mostly unobserved. So instead of smiling he frowned, then without a word he turned away leaving Mustang behind mid dance. He hoped that was enough to give the impression of Mustang's flirting going too far. 

He moved through the crowd, making sure to meet as few gazes as possible and never letting his neutral expression falter. This mission was a nightmare. Simple as that. It took him too many seconds until he located the bathroom, which hopefully was his exit away from the eyes of the crowd for a few precious minutes until he had to go out again. 

He nearly went into the man's toilet before his mind caught up and he changed directions only to find a new problem. The girls toilet was not empty. Two women stood at the sink, talking quietly while reapplying some make up. 

Ed ignored them and moved to a toilet, closing the door behind him, allowing himself to breathe for a few seconds. He hated it. Hated the whole hiding in plain sight thing, hated the dress that made free movement impossible, hated that the second someone other than Mustang talked to him this whole mission would go to hell. And he hated how Mustang's flirting messed with his head. 

It took him a moment to fetch his watch from the pocked of his pants that he still wore under the dress. Four minutes left. One look at the door told him it was enough to mask the light of a transmutation. He clapped as silently as he could, and pulled a small blade from the wall, trying to keep the resulting crater as shallow as possible. Then he hid the blade in his purse. So far so good. He forced another smile, pulled the flush and opened the door.

The women were gone. Ed made to move, but his eyes fell on the mirror. On the woman in the mirror. She was all gold and black. Golden hair, golden eyes, wide with surprise, a golden dress that covered everything from her shoulders to her feet. Her arms and fingers were black. She had breasts. Of course she had. He had. Damn. He had fucking made them. 

But somehow Madame Christmas had transformed his face. His cheekbones were obvious, his eyes more intense, his lips fuller. 

Ed blinked and then turned and left the bathroom behind. At least now he knew for sure that his disguise worked somewhat.

Ed made for the buffet. A full mouth was as good a reason as any not to talk. He got a plate and heaped some of those cracker things on them. Why was everything here bite sized anyway? It would take forever to get a full meal out of this! From the corner of his eyes he could see someone walking in his direction. Or the food, but Ed couldn't risk it. He put a cracker in his mouth and moved away as fast as he could. 

Fuck this. Ed kept walking, didn't dare slow down or come close to anybody, didn't dare to meet anyone's eyes. He kept close to the edges of the party, close to the doors that led further into the mansion. Right now he wished he wasn't so fucking golden and obvious. At least if he had been less bright, he might have been able to hide in a corner, uninteresting and therefore left alone, but no.

The crowd started moving, on the stage where the music had been, Grumman stepped up. Ed looked around, moved to the wall to make room for other people. Come on, come on, where are you guys? Come on. There!

She was slim, gorgeous and so obviously Mustang's type that Ed didn't even need to see her shaking hands or the way the man behind her stood just so that between his body and hers, it was impossible to spot the gun he held unless one was looking for it. He wasn't even one of the security guards Vaught had used to secure the party. He was a soldier in dress uniform and he had his gaze on the crowd. On Vaught.

Ed too took one last look at all the people, saw a glimpse of Mustang moving through the crowd in the direction of the stage, saw Vaught's gaze on Mustang and no gaze on him or the guy who had Janine. Good. 

He moved closer to them, kept to the wall and out of the man's direct line of sight. They still stood close to the door, ready to vanish again once Mustang had done what he was supposed to do. After all they couldn't kill her in plain sight. 

He was close. Only four steps from them. He leaned against the wall, gaze to the stage and moved slowly sidewards. Three steps. From the corner of his eyes he could see the man's gaze flicker to him and tense further. Ed didn't move. Tried to look relaxed and unimportant. If it wasn't for the gun, Ed would already have made a move. 

He couldn't see how to expose the man without blowing his own cover, so doing it low key it was. And if all else failed, he would go for his usual style. Flashy and obvious. But first, he would try low key. Give the man something else to worry about. 

Ed let his hand close around the knife in his purse, just in case and then he looked at the man, made it obvious he was looking. The man glanced in his direction again. Ed widened his eyes, hefted his gaze on the gun and gasped, before slowly looking up at him, eyes as shocked as he could make them. 

The man tensed further, his eyes narrowed on Ed. Ed opened his mouth as if to scream. That got the man moving, better yet, it got him to switch his gun from Janine to Ed.

The safety was still on. That gave Ed a second at most. It was enough. In one fluid movement he threw the knife and let himself fall to the floor. 

The shot rang deafening. Screams started up. Ed took one glance at the guy, who's arm with the gun hung limp with Ed's knife buried deep in his shoulder. The man was already moving to take the gun with the other hand, only to get Janine's elbow into his gut. Ed suppressed a grin, even as he made a show of scrambling away from him. 

"He has a gun!" someone screamed. Security already moved in on them, Grumman was long gone from the stage. Vaught nowhere to be seen. Ed took the chance and got to his feet. As of yet the security had their eyes on the shooter, not him. Not Janine. He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him into the crowd of fleeing people.

He hoped Mustang was all right, was somewhere in the crowd, streaming in chaos out of the manor, but his job was the girl. The girl he had trouble keeping a grip on, because the crowd pressed closer, shoved him here and there. Too tight. He had trouble breathing. And suddenly they were out, people dispersed and he still had Janine's hand.

There were some cars, but not his, not... Another car sped onto the square in front of the manor and Ed could make out Falman behind the wheel. He started moving, eyes on the crowd. If he were Vaught he would try to get rid of the witnesses. He didn't spot anyone who might be a danger, but would he even know? Any single one of those military assholes might be on Vaught's side. Blood pounded in his ears. 

Janine kept close to him. She hadn't said a word, had simply followed him. No questions, no protest. He still waited for another shot that might or might not come. 

Then he glimpsed Mustang in the crowd, closer to the car. Falman had been forced to stop to not run someone over. Ed grit his teeth. Janine kept up, despite her high heels. 

Mustang was faster, but waited at the door turned to look for them. 

Ed wanted to tell him to get in the fucking car already, but they were nearly there. Mustang opened the door for them. Janine was in, then Mustang shoved Ed to the door and Ed wanted to shout at him, but it would take time and they needed to be fast so he swallowed it down and slid in, Mustang settling right next to him, a solid line against his left arm.

And then they were driving, driving off the square, down the road and between the trees. 

And slowly, slowly, Ed dared to breathe.


	3. The Aftermath

They rode in silence for a minute or so. It wasn't nearly long enough for Ed to shake the jittery feeling. 

"Are you all right, Sir?" Falman asked.

"I am," Mustang replied, before turning to them. "What about you? Janine? Fullmetal?"

"They didn't harm me," Janine replied. Her voice shook a little, but she held herself remarkably composed. 

Mustang's gaze went to Ed. "I'm fine," Ed replied with a huff, "But I want out of this fucking dress."

A startled laugh came from his right and Janine sent him a wry smile. "You know, you had me fooled for a while."

Ed grinned. "I had Mustang fooled for a while."

Janine raised her brows and behind him Mustang coughed something that might or might not have been words. When Ed turned there was a faint blush on his cheeks. Ed's grin widened.

Mustang shook his head, but his lips twitched up slightly. "What can I say, I see a pretty girl, and I just can't resist."

Ed narrowed his eyes, not sure if that was a compliment or if Mustang had just implied there were reasons he made a convincing girl. It was always hard to tell with the bastard and worse it usually meant Ed couldn't decide whether to punch him or kiss him. Not that he ever gave in to either impulse.

Before he could settle on a reaction Mustang sobered. "How is the rest?"

"Once they saw I had you out, Madame Christmas should have taken them to the hospital. Lieutenant Hawkeye's arm is broken, Second Lieutenant Havoc has a head wound and Second Lieutenant Breda's ankle is at least sprained."

Mustang nodded.

"In that case we'll bring Janine home first." 

He turned to Janine and suddenly his gaze was dead sober. "I'm so sorry about pulling you into this."

"You were upfront about the danger," Janine replied, "And while I can't say I will be doing that ever again, this was as much my decision as it was yours."

Ed had suspected it since she had elbowed the man who had the gun on her, even more after Mustang hadn't hesitated to break Ed's cover in front of her, but now he was sure. This was not just a date. This was one of the girls Mustang used as informants.

Now the only missing piece was Madame Christmas, but Ed was still too keyed up to be curious.

"I am still sorry you had to live through that," Mustang said.

"Fine, you are forgiven, how about that?" Janine replied and now she sounded annoyed. 

Mustang's lips twitched up again.

Ed just wanted to not sit in between the two. Also food, a shower and sleep. And by now he wasn't even sure he wanted it in that order. For a while he had been able to forget that this whole chaos had come at the tail-end of an already shitty mission. At least Al didn't expect him home yet since he had caught the early train.

Al... Al would never let him live this down. Undercover in a fucking dress. For that matter neither would Havoc and Breda. Or Mustang. But at least he had some leverage there. He still couldn't believe Mustang hadn't recognized him. 

The car stopped and it took him a second to realize it was because they were there. Wherever that was. He blinked at the building outside. Big red letters over the door proclaimed it to be the Christmas Bar.

Oh, well that probably explained how Madame Christmas was involved. Though it didn't explain her familiarity with both Hawkeye and Mustang. If Ed had to guess, he'd say they were related, but since he couldn't be sure it didn't really matter. 

Mustang opened his door and Janine did the same, then she paused. "Thank you, Edward Elric. You risked your life for me."

"No problem," Ed replied startled. She just nodded once and got out of the car.

He watched as Mustang escorted her through the door. For the moment it was blessedly silent and a little more of the tension left him. He didn't realize he had closed his eyes until the door opened again and Mustang slid in.

It also occurred to him that he still sat in the middle seat, which was a lot closer to Mustang than necessary, now that Janine was gone. Not that he didn't like having Mustang this close. He was tired enough that the idea of just leaning against Mustang's shoulder sounded better than it probably was. Still, he couldn't, so he reluctantly moved over.

Around them the car came to life again.

"Where next?" Falman asked.

"We'll bring Ed home and then drive to the hospital, see how many of them signed themselves out against medical advice and get them home."

Ed would bet the answer was all of them. The only one's on the team to stay in the hospital if they landed there were Falman and Fuery. 

They started moving and there was another beat of silence.

Mustang turned to him, leaned a little closer and the same flirty smile from the dance appeared on his face. "Since this was such a resounding success-" Ed snorted, "How about we try another date with less excitement and go somewhere that's a bit more your style?"

Ed stilled, slowly going over what he'd just heard, just to make sure. Had Mustang asked him out? Was it a joke or had he forgotten who he was talking to?

"Mustang, despite the dress, I'm not actually a girl," he said. If he had been any less tired he might even have put some force behind it.

"I'm well aware of that," Mustang replied and this time he didn't sound flirty. He sounded as serious as he had when he had apologized to Janine. Ed caught his gaze, just to make extra sure he wasn't missing something. He was met by the usual mesmerizing dark irises that were indiscernible from the pupils in this dim light. If there was a clue there, Ed couldn't find it. 

"Then why?" he asked. It didn't make sense. Even knowing that half of his dates were informants and not actual love interests, Roy's reputation was still all female.

"Why not?" Mustang replied, "You are kind and brilliant and beautiful with or without the dress. And when I flirted with you tonight you seemed receptive instead of uncomfortable. So I realized I might have a chance."

"I could just be a good actor," was what left Ed's mouth instead of a real answer. Not that he knew what to answer. His mind was completely blank. 

"You are really not," Mustang said with a smile, "And you can just say no, you know." This time Ed thought he might have seen disappointment under the relaxed attitude. That was what finally got his mind back in gear. 

"Yes." Oh, that was eloquent, try again, genius, Ed thought. "I mean, if you are serious, then yes, we can go on a date, but if you think I'll wear a dress again, you've got another thing coming." There better.

Mustang laughed. "I wouldn't dream of it. Even if you made an excellent woman."

"Mustang-" Ed threatened, not sure what kind of threat he wanted to make. He still couldn't believe this was happening. He got a date. With Mustang.

"Roy," Mustang interrupted, "If we're going out you might as well call me Roy."

"Roy," Ed repeated, testing the name out in his mind. Then he smiled. "Okay then, Roy it is." That would take some getting used to. Or maybe not, he mused and silently repeated it again. Roy.

Of course then he had to be caught by a yawn. 

"When was the last time you slept?" Must-, no Roy, asked. 

"I got four hours last night," Ed replied without thinking. A little too honest, but then again, what harm was there in being honest about this shit for once? It wasn't as if Roy could use it against him. Not that he would either. It was just habit to keep his cards close to his chest.

"Then you better get some sleep," Roy said. It sounded different from the usual order. There was a smile on his lips and his voice was softer and warm, "You don't need to come in until noon tomorrow."

"We're here," Falman cut in, voice as dry as ever. Ed flushed when he realized he had heard every bit of that conversation. Roy smirked a little, he had probably read his thoughts, the bastard.

Ed hesitated, hand on the door handle. It felt wrong to just let everything stand like this, but he also didn't know what else to say.

Roy solved the problem for him by opening his own door and getting out. "You know, since I'm not a girl, you don't have to escort me to my door," Ed growled, but got out of the car too. 

Roy smirked at him, but made no move to get back into the car. "I don't have to," he confirmed and walked the few steps to Ed's door with him, "But if I didn't then I couldn't do this," he added.

The next second Ed felt Roy's warm hand at his neck, fingertips tangling in his still open hair. He looked up startled to meet dark eyes that were much closer than he'd thought. For half a heartbeat neither of them moved and then Ed realized that Roy was waiting for him. The next second he was moving that last inch up until his lips met Roy's.

Whenever he had allowed himself to daydream about their first kiss, it hadn't been this. Not a night after a mission, not the dress and makeup, not dry lips on his, soft and skillful and a lot more hesitant than he could have ever imagined. 

Ed felt himself smile into the kiss, but Roy wasn't the only one who was good at this, and fuck it, first kiss or not, Ed was going to turn the tables on this one. Who cared about decorum and rules? He wanted to see Roy breathless and thoroughly kissed.

Ed sneaked his arms around Roy and pulled them flush together, used the resulting gasp to deepen the kiss. Roy answered in kind and suddenly his back hit the door. The world had narrowed down on them, on Roy, on warmth and tongues and teeth. It lasted an eternity.

Much too soon Roy pulled away, leaving Ed panting and maybe the world was spinning just a little. It wasn't just him though. Roy's lips were full and red under the light of the street lamps and there were traces of lipstick at the corner of his mouth.

Their eyes met and Ed felt gratified that Roy looked just as shaken as him. 

"That was..." Roy started.

"Yeah," Ed replied and then shook his head, "I should probably..." he pointed at the door behind him. He didn't want to, but if he didn't he would ask Roy into his bed and Al was still home and it was a terrible idea all around.

Roy nodded and then managed a smirk. 

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Ed smirked back. "That you most certainly will," he replied, "Good night, Bastard."

"Good night, Ed," Roy replied and there was the softer voice again. Roy smiled and moved back to the car, slipping in with a last wink for Ed. 

Ed took a deep breath and watched as the car started up, watched as Falman drove them away. Right. So that had happened. 

Ed tried to remember where his keys were. Or any of his other stuff really. It took him a second to recall that he had left them in Roy's office when Fuery had sent him to the manor. Ed sighed then shrugged and clapped, making a man sized hole into the door, before stepping through and closing it with another clap behind him.

"Ed, that you?" Al called sleepily.

"Yes, just me," Ed replied and made his way into the kitchen, only to concede that no matter how hungry he was, his bed was more inviting.

"You are back early," Al muttered and Ed could hear soft steps as Al's bare feet hit the ground. A second later his brother rounded the corner and froze. "What are you wearing, brother?"

**Author's Note:**

> I stumbled over an old challenge along the lines of 'Put Ed in a dress'. My mind jumped to this. Since the challenge is old it has certainly been done before, but hey, the more the merrier.  
> Happy 520 day, everyone :)  
> As always, all mistakes are made 100% by me.


End file.
